I don't feel like doing anything at work today... so I will procrastinate EVEN MORE!!!! yeaaaaaaaaaaa!
(stole from http://twitter.com/mads_x3)
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage= Diet Coke
2. last phone call= Laura-Douglass
3. last text message= Allison
4. last song you listened to= "3's & 7's" by Queens of the Stone Age
5. last time you cried= a while ago
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice= yes
7. been cheated on= kind of
9. lost someone special= very much so
10. been depressed= yes
11. been drunk and threw up = unfortunately
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Red
13. Black
14. Green
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)
15. Made a new best friend = yes
16. Fallen out of love= no
17. Laughed until you cried= and maybe peed. LMAO
18. Met someone who changed you= definitely
19. Found out who your true friends were= always
20. Found out someone was talking about you? yes
21. Kissed anyone on your friends list?= no
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life= what is real life?
23. How many kids do you want to have= one
24. Do you have any pets= a dog and a cat
25. Do you want to change your name= no
26. What did you do for your last birthday= Bamboozle with Allison, dinner with family, outing to watch my friend Ryan play
27. What time did you wake up today = 6am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = still yelling at the TV from the Celtics/Lakers game.
29. Name something you can’t wait for= Riverbend Festival
30. Last time you saw your Mother= my actual mother... 2004? Maybe
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?= my looks
32. What are you listening to right now = "Add It Up" - Violent Femmes
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom= yeah
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now= Children in the store
35. Most visited webpage= twitter, HSF, tinychat... HAHAAHAHAHAH
36. Whats your full real name = Cara LeeAnn Elkins
37. Nicknames= Kudzu, Care Bear, Cara Bo Bara
38. Relationship Status = Single
39. Zodiac sign = Gemini
40. Male or female? = Female
41. Elementary? = Battlefield
42. Middle School = Lakeview
43. High school/College = Lakeview-Ft. Oglethorpe
44. Hair color = Brown
45. Long or short = past shoulders
46. Height = 5’7"
47. Do you have a crush on someone? = uhhhh... yeah
48: What do you like about yourself?= my eyes
49. Piercings= my lobes, and then two cartilage piercings in my left ear.
50. Tattoos = 'Believe' in white on the inside of my left wrist. A sketched pink heart on the inside of my right wrist. And I want 5 more.
51. Righty or lefty= righty.
FIRSTS :
52. First surgery= tonsillectomy
53. First piercing= no idea
54. First best friend= Jacki
55. First sport you joined = cheerleading
56. First vacation= florida
58. First pair of trainers= umm... I am sure they were reebok
RIGHT NOW
59. Eating = nothing
60. Drinking = diet coke
61. I’m about to = pass out
62. Listening to = music
63. Waiting on = nothing
YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids? sure.
65. Want to get married?= sure do.
66. Career?= something that makes me happy
WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes= eyes.
68. Hugs or kisses= both
69. Shorter or taller= taller
70. Older or Younger = older
71. Romantic or spontaneous = a good mix of both.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = arms
73. Sensitive or loud = both
74. Hook-up or relationship = relationship.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant= both..haha
HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger = nope
77. Drank hard liquor= yep
78. Lost glasses/contacts = n/a
79. Sex on first date= nope
80. Broken someone’s heart = maybe
81. Had your own heart broken = yes
82. Been arrested = umm... well, not really...
83. Turned someone down = yes
84. Cried when someone died = yes
85. Fallen for a friend? = yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself = yeah
87. Miracles= yep
88. Love at first sight?= sorta
89. Heaven = sure
90. Santa Clause = Totally... he likes me
91. Kiss on the first date= yes
92. Angels= yeah
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time= kind of, but we were serious.
95. Did you sing today? yes
96. Ever cheated on somebody? = nope
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? = four weeks ago
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? August 22, Sept 26, Sept 28, Nov 10, Nov 22, Nov 23, and Dec 31
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?= yes.
100. Posting this as 100 truths? didn't I just do that??
Love,
Cara
Friday, June 4, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
I can't describe you...
Someone on twitter said to describe what they love about you. I thought about it and thought about it, but I couldn't do it. And it's not that I couldn't because I don't, that is definitely NOT the case... I couldn't do it because there are too many things.
So, in order to get this off my chest without stating who I am talking about (even though if you know me, you know who this is about)... here I am; showing my heart to the world.
To me you are more than a man you are a breath of fresh air every time you walk into room. If the room is dark, I feel like just you walking into the room creates light for people to see. Your smile is breathtaking, and also, it is infectious. I look at you smiling, then start to smile and then blush because now I am smiling. Your eyes have compassion and warmth behind them and I feel like they pierce every part of my body. Your hands and arms are strong and welcoming, inviting people into your life that you try sometimes to hide. You are gorgeous and you know it, but you are modest never let people know your secrets. But as gorgeous as you are on the outside, what I love about you, is how you are more gorgeous on the inside. Your laugh engulfs me like a heavy blanket on a cold day. Even though you aren't the brightest crayon in the box, the look in your eyes when you figure out something is endearing. The compassion you have for what you love makes me feel like anything I was to ever love will never compare to your commitment to your craft. You are witty and funny, and even though I feel like when I am around you I laugh for days, I feel like you could make me laugh for a lifetime. My mouth seems to always been turned up in a silly grin when I am around you, heck, even when I am talking about you. It never ceases to amaze me that as little as our conversations may be, you know exactly what to say to make the butterflies in my stomach go wild. Your mind, your mouth, your wit, your laughter, everything about you is amazing, but honestly, nothing compares to your heart. If I could take a piece of your heart, even if it was only the size of a mustard seed, I would run with it and hold it close to my own. Because then I would know that a little piece of you would be with me forever.
Now that I have exposed a little bit (ok, a LOT of myself)... I am going to stop. Even though I could keep going and going.
Love,
Cara
P.S. I would be a liar if I said I didn't get a little emotional writing my feelings.
So, in order to get this off my chest without stating who I am talking about (even though if you know me, you know who this is about)... here I am; showing my heart to the world.
To me you are more than a man you are a breath of fresh air every time you walk into room. If the room is dark, I feel like just you walking into the room creates light for people to see. Your smile is breathtaking, and also, it is infectious. I look at you smiling, then start to smile and then blush because now I am smiling. Your eyes have compassion and warmth behind them and I feel like they pierce every part of my body. Your hands and arms are strong and welcoming, inviting people into your life that you try sometimes to hide. You are gorgeous and you know it, but you are modest never let people know your secrets. But as gorgeous as you are on the outside, what I love about you, is how you are more gorgeous on the inside. Your laugh engulfs me like a heavy blanket on a cold day. Even though you aren't the brightest crayon in the box, the look in your eyes when you figure out something is endearing. The compassion you have for what you love makes me feel like anything I was to ever love will never compare to your commitment to your craft. You are witty and funny, and even though I feel like when I am around you I laugh for days, I feel like you could make me laugh for a lifetime. My mouth seems to always been turned up in a silly grin when I am around you, heck, even when I am talking about you. It never ceases to amaze me that as little as our conversations may be, you know exactly what to say to make the butterflies in my stomach go wild. Your mind, your mouth, your wit, your laughter, everything about you is amazing, but honestly, nothing compares to your heart. If I could take a piece of your heart, even if it was only the size of a mustard seed, I would run with it and hold it close to my own. Because then I would know that a little piece of you would be with me forever.
Now that I have exposed a little bit (ok, a LOT of myself)... I am going to stop. Even though I could keep going and going.
Love,
Cara
P.S. I would be a liar if I said I didn't get a little emotional writing my feelings.
Things about me... that make me.
So here are some things about me... that make me. (I stole this from Maddie's tumblr).
Your Boy Side:
You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It’s hilarious when people get hurt.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own a car racing game.
You played with Hot Wheels cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You have watched sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You used to collect hockey cards.
Baggy sweats are cool to wear.
It’s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors or all.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
You talk with food in your mouth.
You sleep with your socks on at night.
You have fished at least once.
Your Girl Side:
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
You go to your mom to talk.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like going to the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
You cried watching The Notebook.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don’t like the movie Star Wars.
You are/were in gymnastics.
It takes you at least one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing high heel shoes.
You used to play with dolls as a little kid.
You like putting make-up on others.
You like being the star of everything.
Pink is one of your favorite colors.
Appearance:
I am shorter than 5’2
I have many scars.
I tan/burn easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I’ve had/have braces.
I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than two piercings.
I have/had piercings in places besides my ears.
Embarrassment:
I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
I’ve glued my hand to something.
I’ve laughed ’til some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
I’ve had my pants rip in public.
Health:
I’ve gotten stitches.
I’ve broken a bone.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
I’ve had serious surgery.
I’ve had chicken pox.
Traveling:
I’ve driven/ riden over 200 miles in one day.
I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been to Canada.
I’ve been to Cuba.
I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
I’ve been to Ottawa.
I’ve gone to Sudbury.
I’ve been to the Caribbean.
I’ve been to Europe.
I’ve been to Florida.
Experiences:
I’ve gotten lost in my city.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star.
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
I’ve been to a casino.
I’ve been skydiving.
I’ve gone skinny-dipping.
I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
I’ve crashed/rolled a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a musical.
I’ve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue.
I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
I’ve sat on a rooftop at night.
I’ve played a prank on someone.
I’ve ridden in a taxi.
I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I’ve eaten Sushi.
I’ve been snowboarding.
Relationships:
I’m single.
I’m in a relationship.
I’m engaged.
I’m married.
I miss someone right now.
I’ve gotten divorced.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
Honesty/Crime:
I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I’ve snuck out
I’ve lied to my parents about where I am.
I’ve cheated while playing a game.
I’ve ran a red light
I’ve witnessed a crime.
I’ve been in a fist fight.
I’ve been arrested.
Death and Suicide:
I’m afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I’ve seen someone/something dying.
Someone close to me has attempted/committed suicide.
You have planned your own suicide.
I’ve written a eulogy for myself.
Materialism:
I own over 5 rap CD’s.
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
I own designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I own something from The Gap.
I own something I got on E-Bay.
I own something from Abercrombie/Hollister.
Random:
I can sing well.
Stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
Open up to others easily.
I watch the news.
I don’t kill bugs.
I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person.
I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
I am a sports fanatic.
I twirl my hair.
I care about grammar.
I have “?”’s in my screen name.
I love spam.
I’ve copied more than 3 CD’s in a day.
I bake well.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, purple, or orange
I would wear pajamas to school.
I like Martha Stewart.
I know how to shoot a gun.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.
I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish.
I like white chocolate.
I bite my nails.
I’m good at remembering faces.
I’m good at remembering names.
I’m good at remembering dates.
I honestly have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
All my answers were totally honest.
Your Boy Side:
You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It’s hilarious when people get hurt.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own a car racing game.
You played with Hot Wheels cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You have watched sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You used to collect hockey cards.
Baggy sweats are cool to wear.
It’s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors or all.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
You talk with food in your mouth.
You sleep with your socks on at night.
You have fished at least once.
Your Girl Side:
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
You go to your mom to talk.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like going to the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
You cried watching The Notebook.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don’t like the movie Star Wars.
You are/were in gymnastics.
It takes you at least one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing high heel shoes.
You used to play with dolls as a little kid.
You like putting make-up on others.
You like being the star of everything.
Pink is one of your favorite colors.
Appearance:
I am shorter than 5’2
I have many scars.
I tan/burn easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I’ve had/have braces.
I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than two piercings.
I have/had piercings in places besides my ears.
Embarrassment:
I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
I’ve glued my hand to something.
I’ve laughed ’til some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
I’ve had my pants rip in public.
Health:
I’ve gotten stitches.
I’ve broken a bone.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
I’ve had serious surgery.
I’ve had chicken pox.
Traveling:
I’ve driven/ riden over 200 miles in one day.
I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been to Canada.
I’ve been to Cuba.
I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
I’ve been to Ottawa.
I’ve gone to Sudbury.
I’ve been to the Caribbean.
I’ve been to Europe.
I’ve been to Florida.
Experiences:
I’ve gotten lost in my city.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star.
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
I’ve been to a casino.
I’ve been skydiving.
I’ve gone skinny-dipping.
I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
I’ve crashed/rolled a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a musical.
I’ve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue.
I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
I’ve sat on a rooftop at night.
I’ve played a prank on someone.
I’ve ridden in a taxi.
I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I’ve eaten Sushi.
I’ve been snowboarding.
Relationships:
I’m single.
I’m in a relationship.
I’m engaged.
I’m married.
I miss someone right now.
I’ve gotten divorced.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
Honesty/Crime:
I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I’ve snuck out
I’ve lied to my parents about where I am.
I’ve cheated while playing a game.
I’ve ran a red light
I’ve witnessed a crime.
I’ve been in a fist fight.
I’ve been arrested.
Death and Suicide:
I’m afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I’ve seen someone/something dying.
Someone close to me has attempted/committed suicide.
You have planned your own suicide.
I’ve written a eulogy for myself.
Materialism:
I own over 5 rap CD’s.
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
I own designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I own something from The Gap.
I own something I got on E-Bay.
I own something from Abercrombie/Hollister.
Random:
I can sing well.
Stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
Open up to others easily.
I watch the news.
I don’t kill bugs.
I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person.
I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
I am a sports fanatic.
I twirl my hair.
I care about grammar.
I have “?”’s in my screen name.
I love spam.
I’ve copied more than 3 CD’s in a day.
I bake well.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, purple, or orange
I would wear pajamas to school.
I like Martha Stewart.
I know how to shoot a gun.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.
I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish.
I like white chocolate.
I bite my nails.
I’m good at remembering faces.
I’m good at remembering names.
I’m good at remembering dates.
I honestly have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
All my answers were totally honest.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Blogging Slacker
Ok, not only am I a blog slacker on this blog, but also my music blog. I am going to try and catch up or skip that whole 3 weeks that I didn't post anything. Yikes... so horrible.
On exciting news, I did just paint my nails...lol.
That's not my hand, but that is what color they are and how bright they are. HOLLLLA!
Hopefully I will update again soon!
Love,
Cara
On exciting news, I did just paint my nails...lol.
That's not my hand, but that is what color they are and how bright they are. HOLLLLA!
Hopefully I will update again soon!
Love,
Cara
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Slacker
I am such a slacker when it comes to blogging, but I will try harder to say something at least once a day.
There has been a lot of concerts going on, a lot of of fun & mayhem, and more importantly a LOT of memories being made. LOL
I am about to head off to work, so I will catch ya later!
Love,
Cara
There has been a lot of concerts going on, a lot of of fun & mayhem, and more importantly a LOT of memories being made. LOL
I am about to head off to work, so I will catch ya later!
Love,
Cara
Sunday, March 7, 2010
OMG
OMG!!!!
a;sldkfj;alskjdf;lkasjdf;lkasjd;flkjas;dlfkja;sflkj;
Seriously?!?!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I am blushing. I can feel my face getting warm. The excitement. The OMG factory!
Can it be March 19th yet?!?!?!
Love,
Cara
Monday, February 15, 2010
Missing You
The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. ~Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places...
If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. ~Claudia Ghandi
I think about you constantly, whether it's with my mind or my heart. ~Albany Bach Reid
"I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state linesThe distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places...
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms" - "Set the Fire to the Third Bar" - Snow Patrol
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms" - "Set the Fire to the Third Bar" - Snow Patrol
"How I wish, How I wish you were here...We're Just 2 lost souls swimming in a fish bowl... year after year" - "Wish You Were Here" - Pink Floyd
I miss you!!! "LOVE CALCEN"
Much Love,
Cara
Friday, February 12, 2010
Tales of a Broken Heart
Sometimes we write because of what we know. Sometimes we write because of how we feel. Sometimes we write to let off steam. Today I write because of all three.
So, many mixed emotions went through me last night. Some emotions I can't even explain. The first emotion was that of confusing and curiosity. Confused as to what was going on, and curious as what did happen. After I found out, I was sent into a whirlwind of sadness and heartbreak. It stirred up so many emotions from 6 weeks ago, that I have been slowly trying to suppress. My great grandmother died on December 23, 2009; two days before one of the most family-centered holidays. Before anyone questions it, yes, my great grandmother and I were very close. She basically became my 2nd grandmother after my actual grandmother died May 2nd, 1999 to Ovarian Cancer and my grandmother and I were even closer. My parents divorced when I was 4, and my grandmother raised me after that. I was 13 when my grandmother died, 25 days from turning 14. I was still trying to figure out who I was and where I fit in, an emotionally unstable teenager. It was on a Sunday and I remember they called us back to her bedroom, but I couldn't make myself do it. I sat in the recliner numb. I knew her time had passed when I heard tears, and I justified my actions by getting in the shower and bawling my eyes out. I went to school the next day, emotionless. For the next week I didn't talk to anyone, barely my friends. I was silent, a walking zombie. A week after it happened I was in a restaurant with my mom and had a nervous breakdown. I was screaming, crying, flaying around every limb on my body while I was carried out of the building. To this day I still think of her and our memories and times we had together. I say an extra prayer on May 2nd and June 11th (her birthday). I would be a liar, if I told you I wasn't crying while writing this, because any time I talk about it, it brings up so many emotions in me. The day my great-grandmother died was just the same, except on Dec. 23rd, we had to go up to the hospital and make the decision as a family to pull the plug. It was heart wrenching. Christmas just wasn't the same this year. Everyone put on fake smiles for everyone, but deep down we were all hurting. We had her funeral the day after Christmas, another somber event.
But, on Christmas Day, I received one little message, one little tweet on twitter that made me smile, made me think someone cared. Granted, at the time he didn't know, but do I feel like it was fate... maybe? Do I feel like God was reaching out, and something clicked making him choose me... yes. I feel like someone upstairs was looking for a way to lift my spirits and that is what happened. And it did exactly that. I am sure so many people freaked out, and had their 5 second teenie moment... I went to my room and cried. I curled up under my covers and just cried to let out more emotion. He now knows how much that tweet meant to me, we had a moment over it. A moment that I will hold in my heart and cherish it deeply.
And now sitting here in my room, listening to Sigur Ros' Takk... album, I want nothing more than to help him the way he helped me. And I honestly think that is hurting me more than anything else. But, at the same time, him, his family, and loved ones need peace. I wanted nothing more to be left alone with my thoughts when I was going through everything. It's warming to know people are there for you, but you need that moment to understand, to collect your thoughts and emotions, and to just be. Be with the people that you love, be with your emotions, just be. And I feel like twitter is going about all of this all wrong. People need to say their condolences, and move on. Repeatedly tweeting the same thing is a) annoying, and b) stirs up the same emotions over and over and over. And trying to make something a trending topic is just as worse, because yes as sweet as it may be, it's still gaining victory over something so tragic. Because are you really sending out prayers or are you just saying it because others are? And the people that are the worse are the people that keep yelling at everyone else on twitter, trying to tell them what to do. Mostly, because people are going to do what they want, but it makes the person yelling look like an idiot, because that is all they are doing is yelling. If you want to be respectful and you want him to know you care, just say something simple and let it go. Don't tweet it again, don't yell at people for everyone to see, don't make something a trending topic, just say something and let it be. From experience, that is just what I would want. I can't speak for him or for anyone else for that matter, but I know that is what I wanted.
If you read all this, I thank you. If I brought up some harbored emotions of a loved one, I did not mean do to that and I apologize. And if I triggered other emotions, I didn't mean to do that either. I am just stating how I feel and what I know.
My deepest and sincerest condolences go out to him and his family. I miss him way too much and wish I could be there for him. :(
Much Love,
Cara
So, many mixed emotions went through me last night. Some emotions I can't even explain. The first emotion was that of confusing and curiosity. Confused as to what was going on, and curious as what did happen. After I found out, I was sent into a whirlwind of sadness and heartbreak. It stirred up so many emotions from 6 weeks ago, that I have been slowly trying to suppress. My great grandmother died on December 23, 2009; two days before one of the most family-centered holidays. Before anyone questions it, yes, my great grandmother and I were very close. She basically became my 2nd grandmother after my actual grandmother died May 2nd, 1999 to Ovarian Cancer and my grandmother and I were even closer. My parents divorced when I was 4, and my grandmother raised me after that. I was 13 when my grandmother died, 25 days from turning 14. I was still trying to figure out who I was and where I fit in, an emotionally unstable teenager. It was on a Sunday and I remember they called us back to her bedroom, but I couldn't make myself do it. I sat in the recliner numb. I knew her time had passed when I heard tears, and I justified my actions by getting in the shower and bawling my eyes out. I went to school the next day, emotionless. For the next week I didn't talk to anyone, barely my friends. I was silent, a walking zombie. A week after it happened I was in a restaurant with my mom and had a nervous breakdown. I was screaming, crying, flaying around every limb on my body while I was carried out of the building. To this day I still think of her and our memories and times we had together. I say an extra prayer on May 2nd and June 11th (her birthday). I would be a liar, if I told you I wasn't crying while writing this, because any time I talk about it, it brings up so many emotions in me. The day my great-grandmother died was just the same, except on Dec. 23rd, we had to go up to the hospital and make the decision as a family to pull the plug. It was heart wrenching. Christmas just wasn't the same this year. Everyone put on fake smiles for everyone, but deep down we were all hurting. We had her funeral the day after Christmas, another somber event.
But, on Christmas Day, I received one little message, one little tweet on twitter that made me smile, made me think someone cared. Granted, at the time he didn't know, but do I feel like it was fate... maybe? Do I feel like God was reaching out, and something clicked making him choose me... yes. I feel like someone upstairs was looking for a way to lift my spirits and that is what happened. And it did exactly that. I am sure so many people freaked out, and had their 5 second teenie moment... I went to my room and cried. I curled up under my covers and just cried to let out more emotion. He now knows how much that tweet meant to me, we had a moment over it. A moment that I will hold in my heart and cherish it deeply.
And now sitting here in my room, listening to Sigur Ros' Takk... album, I want nothing more than to help him the way he helped me. And I honestly think that is hurting me more than anything else. But, at the same time, him, his family, and loved ones need peace. I wanted nothing more to be left alone with my thoughts when I was going through everything. It's warming to know people are there for you, but you need that moment to understand, to collect your thoughts and emotions, and to just be. Be with the people that you love, be with your emotions, just be. And I feel like twitter is going about all of this all wrong. People need to say their condolences, and move on. Repeatedly tweeting the same thing is a) annoying, and b) stirs up the same emotions over and over and over. And trying to make something a trending topic is just as worse, because yes as sweet as it may be, it's still gaining victory over something so tragic. Because are you really sending out prayers or are you just saying it because others are? And the people that are the worse are the people that keep yelling at everyone else on twitter, trying to tell them what to do. Mostly, because people are going to do what they want, but it makes the person yelling look like an idiot, because that is all they are doing is yelling. If you want to be respectful and you want him to know you care, just say something simple and let it go. Don't tweet it again, don't yell at people for everyone to see, don't make something a trending topic, just say something and let it be. From experience, that is just what I would want. I can't speak for him or for anyone else for that matter, but I know that is what I wanted.
If you read all this, I thank you. If I brought up some harbored emotions of a loved one, I did not mean do to that and I apologize. And if I triggered other emotions, I didn't mean to do that either. I am just stating how I feel and what I know.
My deepest and sincerest condolences go out to him and his family. I miss him way too much and wish I could be there for him. :(
Much Love,
Cara
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Website
I have decided I am going to start a website. That is going to house all my stuff - links to my blogs, pictures, videos, etc. That way people can just go to one place and find stuff. I will post the link when I am done! :)
Much Love,
Cara
Much Love,
Cara
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Gemini Me
I am a Gemini... May 28th to be exact. So, I looked up some things about Gemini's.
Adaptable, Versatile, Communicative, Witty, Intellectual, Eloquent, Youthful and Lively
Nervous, Tense, Superficial, Inconsistent, Cunning and Inquisitive
Geminis are curious and intellectual by nature. They are forever exploring people and places in their quest to attain knowledge. Bright, witty and outgoing, the Gemini charm guarantees they will be the center of attention in any crowd. Matching their intellect is a well-developed imagination.
The duality of the Gemini personality can make it difficult to know just whom you are dealing with. They sometimes appear fickle, flighty and susceptible to whim. These traits often make it difficult for Geminis to finish much of what they start. The other side of their dual personalities is they have an innate ability to multi-task, which is good since their interests are many and varied.
The Gemini Intellect is the key to their being, and provides the foundation for their skills in the art of communicating. Geminis are not born leaders and will usually defer that position to another. However, their clear thinking and creativity allow them to contribute positively to any project. While Geminis love to talk, they also make for a great audience. Overall, their light spirit and interest in almost everything make them wonderful company.
The Gemini In Love:
Geminis love intelligent conversation, so the way to the Geminian heart is through the head. The Geminian is best involved with a steadier, stronger personality who will tolerate and enjoy their butterfly socializing, yet still be there for them when the cards have all blown down. They are willing to experiment with all manner of relationship styles; and as long as their partner is articulate, tolerant, exciting, adventurous and willing to discuss their exploits in detail, they will be ecstatic.
Totally fun right?!?
Much Love,
Cara
Adaptable, Versatile, Communicative, Witty, Intellectual, Eloquent, Youthful and Lively
Nervous, Tense, Superficial, Inconsistent, Cunning and Inquisitive
Geminis are curious and intellectual by nature. They are forever exploring people and places in their quest to attain knowledge. Bright, witty and outgoing, the Gemini charm guarantees they will be the center of attention in any crowd. Matching their intellect is a well-developed imagination.
The duality of the Gemini personality can make it difficult to know just whom you are dealing with. They sometimes appear fickle, flighty and susceptible to whim. These traits often make it difficult for Geminis to finish much of what they start. The other side of their dual personalities is they have an innate ability to multi-task, which is good since their interests are many and varied.
The Gemini Intellect is the key to their being, and provides the foundation for their skills in the art of communicating. Geminis are not born leaders and will usually defer that position to another. However, their clear thinking and creativity allow them to contribute positively to any project. While Geminis love to talk, they also make for a great audience. Overall, their light spirit and interest in almost everything make them wonderful company.
The Gemini In Love:
Geminis love intelligent conversation, so the way to the Geminian heart is through the head. The Geminian is best involved with a steadier, stronger personality who will tolerate and enjoy their butterfly socializing, yet still be there for them when the cards have all blown down. They are willing to experiment with all manner of relationship styles; and as long as their partner is articulate, tolerant, exciting, adventurous and willing to discuss their exploits in detail, they will be ecstatic.
Totally fun right?!?
Much Love,
Cara
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